One-Eyed, One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater! (Aussie Curves)

Well I saw the thing coming out of the sky

It had one long horn and one big eye

I commenced to shakin' and I said oo-wee

It looks like a purple people eater to me

It was a one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater

Sure looks good to me

That's a song, right?

This week's Aussie Curves challenge was “song”. I struggled with this, because it's so open to interpretation I couldn't settle on one idea! But I was feeling purple, so I ate some people.
Nom nom nom.

Tummy full of peoplez

Potential indigestion face

Dress: thrifted (Savers)

Peplum thing (jacket? top? tacket? jopet?): City Chic

Tights: City Chic

This babin' necklace came from Thailand. 

Sorry lovers!

These shoes are a non-brand, but they're amazing because they're plastic

and function as gumboots!!!one!!eleveneleven

Why yes! I have been wearing lots of lipstick lately! Thanks for noticing! Seriously, Lime Crime has changed my life. I am now a checkerboard lipstick chick!

But i'm still an uber-spaz at putting it on and keeping it off my teeth. Tips? Anyone?

ERMAGERD! Lickstick!
Lime Crime / Poisonberry

Also, I know it's not Tuesday, but I splooshed uber hard today, and I had to share. Today, on Instagram, Tess Munster (one of my idols) LIKED one of my photos! Which is pretty fucking rad. But more awesome is WHICH photo she liked. I won't keep you in suspense. It was dis one!

Yes, I do own Glitzy the Pig earrings.  Yes, Tess Munster got down on that. #winningatearringsandlifeingeneralbutprobablyjustfortoday

SPLOOSH TUESDAY (Issue 4)

ERMAGERD it's Tuesday again! You know what that means? It's...


As i've been constantly complaining about mentioning lately, life is really busy. But it wouldn't be a Tuesday without a brief sploosh (read THAT whichever way you please!)...

So I dunno if you've ever heard of Cat Cafes – they're really popular in parts of Asia and Europe. Well, MELBOURNE IS GETTING ONE! Apparently in July! I'm so excited, i've already bought 4 boxes of Telfast (small lie). Which is pretty funny, because the lady who's pioneering it is allergic to cats, just like me! It's a cruel, cruel world.

All the cats for the cafe will come from the pound <3

Katy Perry at a Cat Cafe. 

Because, you know, she sometimes wears cat ears on stage.

I hope this is what it's like!

Photo courtesy of THIS blog

I've been fascinated by terrariums for a few years now, but lately i've been feeling the urge to try my hand at making my own. Then, a couple of days ago, Sam and I were perving window-shopping, and we found ourselves in a clothing shop that sold the most magnificent terrariums by a local business – Miniscapes.
LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE!
#wantneedgiveittomenowpls

Find Miniscapes HERE

So, have you seen the movie Party Monster? If not, stop reading this and go watch it now.

Seriously. Go.

Back yet? Ok cool. NOW you need to watch the Shockumentary.

Off you go.

So now you understand why I have such mixed feelings about the news that Michael Alig has been released from prison. Actually, no. My mixed feelings are about the way people IDOLISE him, and are so happy that he's been released! One person who seemingly isn't still swept up in his razzle-dazzle is his ex Club Kid comrade, James St James, who wrote an open letter of advice to Michael upon his release.

Even if you were terribly disobedient and didn't watch both those films just now, it's still a pretty great read:

Prisoner #97A6595 aka Michael Alig is officially released from prison today. In honor of that occasion, I thought I’d jot down a few thoughts about life in the new millennia to pass along to him.

Dear Michael,
It’s a very different world you’re re-entering into. So much has changed in the 17 years since you last walked among us. For instance: We have talking pictures now! And cronuts!

Boys are cuter in the 21st century. And dicks are bigger. These are facts. If you don’t believe me, spend an hour on Tumblr. Another odd thing: EVERYBODY has killer style now. Kids in Peoria are as fabulous as the kids in Williamsburg. It’s all rather dizzying, and kind of depressing. When everybody is fabulous, nobody is.

OMG. Burger King changed their french fries and the world has never been the same.
Cabs take credit cards now.

We don’t use the “t” word anymore. (It’s “trans” now) And don’t even joke about it. The PC police will GET YOU. Also: “cisgender” is a thing now. Sprinkle it liberally into conversations to give yourself a bit of gravitas.

Viral videos, blogs, GIFs, memes – there’s a whole world waiting for you online. But the internet is a scary place. Things get weird fast. I suggest dipping your feet in slowly. Gently. Here are a few fun, soothing videos to get you going: David After Dentist, The Prancercize Lady, Charlie Bit Me, Sweet Brown, Two Girls One Cup…

Technology develops at light speed now, you don’t want to get left behind. You NEED a smart phone, a computer, a DVR, and a tablet. There are no two ways around this. And be sure to keep up on all the latest upgrades and gadgets. You don’t want to be like me. I still have an iphone 4. Its calculator is an abacus. My Grindr only has Pilgrims in my area who want to hook up. It’s OLD.

Things we don’t need any more: Phone books, dictionaries, maps, and encyclopedias. They’re all in your phone. IT’S CRAZY.

Things it takes awhile to get used to not needing anymore: Photographs, books, and newspapers. You’ll fight this, but eventually you’ll succumb. It’s a paperless world now. Adapt or die.
You aren’t going to believe this one: Clubs play top 40 now. Rihanna, Britney, Katy Perry. That’s it. It’s very sad. The scene has changed. Clubs aren’t the subversive pleasure palaces of yore. Now, it’s just a thousand shrieking girls taking selfies and dancing to “Wake Me Up” by Aviccii.
95% of your time in any given club will be spent having your picture taken. Seriously. It’s. All. You. Do. Picture after picture after picture.
Smile. Snap.
Smile. Snap.
Until you want to snap someones head off.

Speaking of clubs: You’ve become a bit of a legend since you went in (YOU’RE WELCOME) and you WILL stop the room the first few times you go out. It’s an odd sensation, but even odder is when it doesn’t happen. See, you’re old now, and although many of this generation were raised on Party Monster , sometimes you’ll find yourself in a room where everybody is completely CLUELESS. They’ve never seen the Geraldos or Phil Donahues or Jenny Joneses. They’ve never heard of Angel. They don’t know or care who Julie Jewels was. They don’t even know who Andy Warhol was. A 21-year-old at WOW had never heard of Moby. MOBY. It’s weird. The generation that has the greatest access to knowledge in the history of mankind is the one that cares the least about it. So there will be places where you go where NOBODY WILL RECOGNIZE YOU and NOBODY WILL CARE. And because you are no longer a cute little twink, 20-somethings will LOOK RIGHT THROUGH YOU. Or worse: SNEER at the old man. Joy Behar once said that after 35 nobody looks at you on the beach anymore, no matter how good you look. It’s true. And it’s true everywhere. My point: Enjoy the times people recognize you, because not being recognized when your old SUUUUUUUCKS.

What else… what else….

Something happened to the Twin Towers. They aren’t there any more. Ask around for the story.
If you need a conversation opener, try “gluten.” It’s all anyone talks about anymore. Say you’re thinking of going gluten-free, and see how people light up.

Obama wants us to cough into our elbows now, instead of our balled-up fists.

You’re going to need to download the following apps ASAP: Grindr, Scruff, Jack’D, Uber, Snapchat, Vine, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, spotify, Wikipedia, Moviephone, IMDB, HuluPlus, Fruit Ninja, and Angry Birds (dated, yes, but you need to catch up)…

A crash course on social media platforms:
Facebook is where you find people you went to high school with who now own pretend farms.
Instagram is all the people you avoid at parties posting pictures of their breakfast.
Twitter is just people you don’t know making pithy comments about serious subjects they know nothing about.
Pinterest is where morbidly obese cat ladies pin pictures of what Daenerys and Cersei would wear.
Tumblr is micro-blogging for tweens + gay porn.
And Vine is always just sx seconds of extreme torture.
Haterz gonna hate, of course, but the worst of the worst are YouTube commenters and Redditors. You have been warned.

Stay away from Beliebers, Little Monsters, and Directioners. They make holocaust deniers seem well-reasoned. And they will cut a bitch if you cross them.

Breaking Bad. You need to Netflix that shit NOW. (Also on your to-do list: Get Netflix.)

Movies. I was thinking of starting a #MoviesMichaelNeedstoSee on Twitter, because I can’t possibly list 18 years worth of important, life-altering movies off the top of my head, but here’s where to start: Donnie Darko, Bully, Gummo, Mysterious Skin, Blair Witch, Election, Jaw Breaker, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Apt Pupil, Hedwig, Spring Breakers, Funny Games, Happiness, The Rules of Attraction, American Psycho, Boys Don’t Cry, Velvet Goldmine, Fight Club, Bad Santa, Scream, The Ice Storm, Boogie Nights, Igby Goes Down, Rushmore, Die Mommy Die, Last Days of Disco, AI, Lost Highway, 28 Days Later, Pan’s Labyrinth, District 9, Capturing the Friedmans… and on.
Funny side note: Drug dealers almost always have Party Monster on. Or Kill Bill Volume 2. Literally WITHOUT FAIL. Every drug dealer’s apartment you will ever go to (and I’m not advising you to got to any… but) there they are. There YOU are. On a loop.

Drugs. Omg, there are so many new drugs that I’m advising you not to do. You can’t, of course, because you’re on A SPIRITUALLY ENLIGHTENED PATH now – planting trees in Angel’s name and building homes for orphans and whatnot. The last thing we need is for you to chew off some hobo’s face while high on bath salts. But there’s a WORLD of new synthetic drugs you should AT LEAST be aware of: K2, Salvio, Meow Meow…
OH. There is ONE drug that you really OUGHT TO TRY. You’ll just love it, I know it.
NO SIDE EFFECTS. And NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW you’ve done it.
It’s called krocodil.
Really, Michael, I’m just going to get a tiny, little gram of krokodil as a getting out present…. Thank me later.
Well. That should get you started.
All my best wishes for you’re newly rehabilitated life. Enjoy the new millennia, it’s been waiting for you
xxx
James St james


One of my favourite artists, Wish Candy (aka Sashiko Yuen) has a new piece of art. It's called “Buns” and by JOVE do I want a print!

Follow her on tumblr HERE

Lastly, but certainly not leastly, today I was reading through a list of fascinating and macabre books (as you do when you're at uni and you study design), and I came across THIS BOOK. It equal parts delights and horrifies me. My favourite feeling <3

Get yourself one HERE. It's certainly going on my list of needs.

Homemade Dresses and Doughnuts (Aussie Curves)

I'm back! Again! Hi again! 

I feel a bit bummed that i've missed so many Aussie Curves challenges lately. But hey, that's life (and death). And what counts is; i'm back on the wagon! 

This week's challenge is “homemade”, and when I saw it on the list I brushed it off as an easy peasy one, cos I make heaps of my own clothes. But then, when I went to my cupboard to find said homemade things, I realised this was no longer a truth! Holy smokes! I actually DON'T make most of my clothes anymore. That was a rude shock. In years gone by (ok, before I moved to Melbourne) I used to make 80% of my clothes. But really, what with my love of vintage and thrift-shop finds and the unnerving ease at which i'll punch in my credit card numbers for an online purchase, I actually don't make a lot of my day to day clothes anymore. Costumes? Yes. But that's for another post. 

Because of this (slightly discouraging) fact, i've (surprise, surprise) decided to bend the rules a whee bit. My outfit today IS homemade. Just not in MY home. 

Skull cupcake iron on patches came from this ebay seller 

Oh man - this expression *facepalm*

Give me a break, I did JUST smash my phone screen in :'(

Lipstick is Revlon ColorStay Ultimate Suede in 'Couture'

Scarf created by my bestie's stepmum 

Swing dress came from this ebay seller

Sam and I had such a nice lunch running around snapping photos, dropping phones, road- hand testing Lime Crime and eating Doughboys Doughnuts! If you live in Melbourne and you want diabetes, you HAVE to try these bad boys. 

Tucked away around the Queen Vic Markets in a hotel called The Mercat, these are right up there with the best doughnuts i've ever consumed. And the place was HIP AS SHIT. Look at this:

SPLOOSH TUESDAY (Issue 3)

Hey y'all! SPLOOSH TUESDAY TIME! Issue 3, comin' at ya live.

So you know how last week I was going on about The Militant Baker's repsonse to that rubbish-y article that caused quite a stink? Well, if you did read it, you may have picked up on the mention of a thing called “Fattitude”.

What is Fattitude? It's a body positive documentary that's currently up for backing on Kickstarter, and it looks freakin' AWESOME. Check it out:



Don't you agree it looks rad? Yes? Well... you should back it! The goal is $38K, and at the time of writing they're at $39K pledges. Talk about SPLOOSH!

So why should you still back it??

1. Don't you want to be a part of something so radically awesome?
2. For only $25, you will get to own the film (digital download) when it's finished. And let's face it, it's not exactly like you're going to be able to pop down to your local Hoyts and see it.
3. Although $38/39K sounds like a lot of money, in the film/doco world, it's actually nothing. The more money we can throw at this project, the better they can make it. And seriously – doesn't this have a message that is WORTH spending money on? That is WORTH doing the very best that can possibly be done? Well, I think so! ^.^

Have I convinced you? Well, you can back it HERE!

Other news on the agenda *shuffles papers*

SPACE CAT

(Source - which you should definitely click and watch the 3 min video 

about the guy who makes these)

Ahem. Sorry.

Did you know there's an awesomely hilarious website called ranga.net.au? Their home page says:

“You have found the Ranga Association. Or more accurately, The Red And Nearly Ginger Association which exists for all the red haired primates in the universe - from the bright orange to the tinge of ginge.

This site's purpose is to further the cause of all individuals whose MC1R receptor is set in it's default position, therefore producing pheomelanin rather than eumelanin.
We do this by providing research information, forums, and community events all designed to allow our Ginger brethren to be proud of their genetic heritage.

Rangas everywhere - unite and be proud!”

As if this wasn't awesome enough, they actually hold charity events and raise money for... ORANGUTANS!


And you guys, look at that beautiful design! That typography is swoon-worthy.

Next up is an INSANE online shop that Sam the super stalker sleuth discovered.
It's called Cut Throat On the Street (link here) and I want literally EVERYTHING on there.

It's all handmade by a guy (yup) in Melbourne, and he calls it “next level apocalyptic toxic unicorn accessories” and he also has this to say about it all:

“All toys are sourced once they are filled with a child's love and companionship, To ensure maximum magic in every product. Once not-yet-big-kids ourselves, We were in a world were our imagination was forever and nothing else really mattered besides love and happiness, and some big kids forget that they can still be in that magical world.”




Last but most certainly not least, my photographer discovery of the week is Polly Borland. I was browsing through her photos and I was all like “weird, uh huh, ok, cool” and then BAM! Somebody I noticed... Can you tell who it is?!

No, I guess you can't really tell from this photo.
Or maybe you can?! If so = mad skillz.

Nor these ones either...

I'll give you a hint: she was my #wcw on Instagram last week.

It's Gwendoline Christie/Brienne of Tarth!!

Oh, one last thing. I have my first official sponsor! It's that saucy minx over at Voluptuous Vintage Vixen, and you can see her snazzy badge over there on the right hand side! Eeeeeee <3

All That Glitters Is Not Necessarily Gold (Aussie Curves)

Wow, i'm really just scraping it in with this week's Aussie Curves challenge: SPARKLE!

Sam and I vogued it out in an alleyway on Friday. It was tres fun. It also happened to be the gloomiest, rainiest day of the week, so I was happy to add a bit of SHIZAM to the streets of Melbourne.

This is the only sequin-y thing I own. I bought it last year for a dress up party that Sam had - Grannies. I went as a Bubby Yetta inspired fashion-trash diva. Yeah. Here we are being swellogants:

Anyway, back to the story.
I had just gotten back from Burma, and I wanted to find something excessively blingy for my outfit. I searched high and low (ie. 2 x Savers), until I decided to try some of the shops in Footscray (my home turf). Anyway, I found this little gem (way overpriced), and because I was in haggling mode (a la Burma), I got it for half price! I was so happy, I believe I looked a little something like this:

"Donut & ice coffee baby" belly has been replaced by "chicken-salt-with-a-side-of-potato-cake" belly.

Top: KmartSkirt: thriftedBoots: Kmart

Sass: mine

Necklace and ring: Thailand

And, because it's now bloody cold in Melbourne:

Sometimes I like to matrix it up in doorways

And then lolcat at mahself

Also, I don't mean to get all depressing depresso on y'all, but my nana died this morning. So, i'd like to dedicate this post to her, because she was an amazingly stylish lady, an outstanding cook (i'm gonna raid her recipe books), and an inspiring seamstress. She was never seen without her “face” on, and she used her golden years to give back to the community, volunteering for heaps of charities and being an all-round champ of a lady.

Love you Nan xx

My nan & I went skiydiving together on my 21st birthday. 

She was supposed to take her dentures out for health & safety reasons, but she

lied about having them and just glued them into her head instead. 

Also, at my 21st. I'd made this dress the day before, and was so excited to showmy nana - the ultimate seamstress. She was really proud <3