"WHAT DO WE WANT?" "RADICAL T-SHIRTS!" "WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?" "MEOW!" (Chubby Cartwheels)

Y'know those “FUCK YEAH” moments, when something just resonates so perfectly and deeply inside that it makes you slightly more than metaphorically bounce off the walls with sheer delight and excitement? (EDIT: that reads dirtier than I intended...)

Like, even more than finding $10 in your jacket pocket from the last time you wore it.

Or even more than when you've eaten the last cookie in the jar, but then discover that there's one more sneaky little fucker hiding in a crevice that your hand missed on it's last sweep.

Or, like... eh never mind. You've probably got the point.

Let me spell it out: this shirt is THE SHIT. The second I saw it, I KNEW it would be mine. I've slept on Chubby Cartwheels for TOO LONG (well, it wasn't an actual nap, it's just that shipping to Australia is always so damn expensive – damn this ginormous, isolated island of convicts!) and it was time to rectify the error of my ways.

As you can see, i'm heaps jiving on myself in this tee. Yes, I was a little drank (as was the photographer – thanks Sam, my love). 

But real talk; this message is very important to my heart. Understanding that the 'diet industry' exists solely to profit from making us all feel like shit about ourselves was a massive revelation in my early days of discovering the concept and community of body positivity. And for me, defiantly deciding that I was no longer going to be a cog in that wheel was a tremendously empowering and necessary step in my journey of self acceptance.

So, fuck yeah i'm wearing this shirt with pride. And you know what else? It's an interesting conversation piece, too! For instance, I had a very dapper gentlemen give me massive props and a high five for it. However, he did then proceed to tell me he had an idea for a shirt that was something along the lines of “i'm not fat, i'm Italian”, which I thought was really cute if not kind of missing the mark. But hey – a body pos warrior is a warrior none the less. Fight the good fight, cute Italian guy in fedora!

If you haven't already, you should definitely check out Chubby Cartwheels stuff. In fact, she just released her Curves Reign collection and I am HARDCORE LUSTING after the Boleyn dress that looks so dang incred on uber-babe Courtney Mina Stormborn (aka Khaleesidelrey).

Whatchu reckon? Teal, or purple?!

OUTFIT DETAILS

SHIRT: Chubby Cartwheels (d'uh, can't you read good?!)

SKIRT: secondhand from fatty swap (but gorgeous handmade ones from this Etsy seller)

BELT: Target (similar available from Eloquii)

JEWELLERY: from Bangkok (but tonnes of cuties on Etsy)

BOOTS: thrifted (vaguely similar ones from Steve Madden)

JACKET: Target (similar currently at City Chic and ASOS Curve)

LIPSTICK: Kryolan Cream Liner (can't find Emerald - but Sea Greenis lush!)

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She's Just a Devil Woman, With Evil On Her Mind (ALTERNATIVE CURVES BLOG HOP)

I wonder whatever happened to Cliff Richard? Oh that's right - he now lives on a beach in Barbados. Never mind!

This month's Alternative Curves theme is BLACK LIPSTICK! Since I regularly wear black lipstick (such as here and here and also here) this wasn't much of a challenge for me, so I had the grand idea of making a cape and covering it in ginormous black lipstick kisses and being a super hero. But, the ultimate challenge in my life is actually time management, and what with current commitments of insane proportions, we'll all have to make do with this little 50's housewife meets voodoo queen ensemble.

Oh, and cocktails at The Luwow. Mmmmm tentacle finger puppet shenanigans....




This lippy is the Lime Crime Black Velvet, but what with all the recent kerfuffles surrounding the company and Doe Deere, I don't know what to think! Especially with the allegations that their products aren't actually vegan (i'm not vegan but have a serious issue with lying to the consumer, especially about something as important as that). Anybody have any thoughts?

It's so delightful to see a few more ladies back on board with the blog hop this month! Be sure to check them out below, and please JOIN IN if you have your own blog. Or if not, post your themed OOTD on Instagram and use #alternativecurves to connect with the community!

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Mean, Green Nursing Machine (Aussie Curves)

Hello! My goodness, it's been a few weeks since I participated in an Aussie Curves challenge. Things have been full on! Most exciting of which, I have been asked to be a judge at Monster Fest (which, if you don't know, is Melbourne's only HORROR FILM FESTIVAL)! So for the last week and a half I've been watching all the horror, blood and gore that my strange little heart desires, and totally ignoring my friends - blog included. I think i'm about 17 films down, with another 5 - 8 to go. YEE HAW!

If you live in Melbourne and love horror, make sure you check out the program and get along to see some stuff. I'm definitely going to be heading to the all night Friday 13th movie marathon next Friday, and I can't wait! And can we just take a second to appreciate how glorious this poster is?

Today was also the open casting for runway street models for next year's Curvy Couture Roadshow. It was so damn awesome to be surrounded by so many beautiful, stylish and FUN ladies!!
As for the challenge, I had to jump back on board this week for the theme "favourite colour", because I love any excuse to wear green! It's hard to pick a favourite between green and purple, but I was definitely feeling the former that day. Sam and I were headed into the city to eat dumplings and watch a double feature of the new Hunger Games and Interstellar (yep, MORE MOVIES!), and we stumbled across this adorable little alley chock full of plants and fun doorways. Yep, that graffiti says "sex is fun"... \m/

Helloooooo boob gape!

I found this dress vintage 80's dress at Savers about two years ago, and for the last one year it's sat at the bottom of my mending pile. I recently found it and repaired it, and now i'm loving it all over again just like it's new. I like to pretend i'm a war-time nurse. Wow, that just got weird.

Two things I noticed after seeing these photos: 

1. I really should invest in an iron.

2. I love these avocado earrings so hard. One of them has the seed and the other doesn't, 

and the two halves fit together PERFECTLY. So, damn, satisfying. 

That's all for now. I know i'm last to the blog hop party this week (as with a lot of weeks), but definitely check out the other ladies outfits and spread the love! Blogging is not a one-sided activity, it's about sharing and community! <3

OUTFIT DETAILS

Dress: Savers

Jacket: City Chic

Boots: Docs (handpainted by moi)

Earrings: purchased from Quick Brown Fox

Brooch: was a set of earrings, also from Quick Brown Fox

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Melbourne, You Magnificent Beast of a Babe.

Holy wows! Things have been going nuts! Here it is...
So It's officially official that I was selected as one of the three poster girls for next year's Curvy Couture Roadshow!! Man, such efforts to keep that on the down-low for so long. This little piece of amazing news came around the time of my band (and close friendship) breaking up, and was a total lifesaver amidst a sea of devastation. Huzzah for the powers that be, and the Gods of Opportunity. 
Do YOU want to be involved? This weekend is the open casting call for runway models for the actual show (which is part of Virgin Australia Melbourne Fashion Festival, and is KIND OF A BIG DEAL). So you if you answered "YES!" then definitely check out the facebook event for more details and come along, even if you don't think you're experienced enough! I certainly don't feel like I am, but totes gonna fake it 'til I (hopefully) make it. As is my motto.
Also, check out my magnificent camel toe!! I mean, jumpsuit... 

All 3 poster girls, having epic chuckles and dance-parties on set.

Yours truly, Elyse & Jen <3

Next up: Here's some photos Sam and I took ages ago, and I kind of forgot to use/kind of didn't think my outfit was really worth a blog post. But, upon reflection (and realising I haven't done an outfit post in a thousand years so lower your standards, lady) I realised it's not so bad... AND MORE IMPORTANTLY: Melbourne is such an incredibly gorgeous city!! 
I've lived here for nearly 4 years now and although I still often stop and pinch myself to think that I exist and have such a wonderful life in this incredible city, it's also pretty easy to take it for granted.
These graffiti-filled lanes... I work, study, play, love and laugh amongst these lanes most days of the week. And I am so effing grateful for the beauty and wonder that constantly surrounds me. Check it.  

OUTFIT DETAILS

Dress: ASOS (purchased secondhand from Ms Annalog) Tights: City Chic Vest: thrifted Strawberry headband: made for me by Jacqui from Fashion and Pho Boots: Super cheap shoe shop in Fitzroy Sunglasses: eBay - search for "Mr Quiffy Sunglasses"

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Bride of Frankenstein style...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

I'm so excited, it's my favourite day of the year. I love it more than Christmas, New Year and even my own birthday. I love it more than the sound of bones breaking, the death rattle, babies crying and dogs dying (< that's an in-joke for fellow John Waters' freaks).

To celebrate this magnificent holiday, here's a fun "Pinup Bride of Frankenstein" collab I did with the fun and beautiful Lexi DeRock who did my hair, makeup, costume AND took the photos! What a talented babe! She also blogs over at Voluptuous Vintage Vixen, you should check her out.

BTS: Lexi and I get kissy/snarly

Tonight we're having an epic house party at my place, and I am planning one of my most ambitious and exciting costumes to date. I'm so damn excited to see it all come together. There's actually a bit of hint as who I'll be going as, right on this very page! Tricks or treats to anyone who can guess... ^_^

HAVE AN INCREDIBLE HALLOWEEN!

LET'S STAY IN TOUCH!
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Flamenco Cat Lady Goes to a Business Meeting Tea Party Just Because She Can

Oh wow. These post titles. Just, WOW. To be honest i'm pretty inspired by a blog I read which used to be called "Hey Dickface" but has been (sadly) renamed Lazy Kat.  Her posts are in french but the titles are pretty much always in english, and literally always cracks me up. Some off the top of my head are "my dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach is empty" and "it is my greatest ambition in life to use up an entire chapstick before I lose it". Seriously, so much fun in one title.

So, this outfit is my flamenco cat lady goes to a business meeting tea party, just because she can. Whatever that means. Recognise the backyard? If you read Fashion and Pho, you will!





Thanks to Jacqui for the photos!

OUTFIT DETAILS

Dress: Fit Fat (Thai brand) Tights: plussizedclothing.com.au Necklace & matching Earrings: Miss-A-Ree Guts Creations Hair flower: Kmart Shoes: Famous Footwear

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Shakmina, Warrior Princess from the Planet Faragh Borgh

Shakmina, warrior princes from Faragh Borgh.Exiled to planet earth to accelerate urban decay.And to also prove that fat girls can still be totally smokin' with no hair. 







Umm, yes.I don't really know what else to say, except this:

Special thanks to my pal Ed Yates of Feature Creatures FX for mekkin' me bald! 

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The Red Shoes : ALTERNATIVE CURVES BLOG HOP!

TODAY IS A SENSATIONAL DAY!

Firstly, it is the first day of October which is (in Kobi Land) better known as HALLOWEEN MONTH! I have lots of exciting things planned both for blog-times AND for the real world. I LOVE OCTOBER!

But what could possibly make today even more awesome? This is the MAIDEN POST of the new Alternative Curves Blog Hop! The incredibly lovely and stylish Margot Meanie and I have been rallying the troops to create an online community of quirky, plus-size babes (check out the instagram and use the hashtag yourself!) and we decided to step it up a notch by organising a monthly, themed outfit blog hop.

AND TODAY, WE ARE KICKING THIS SHIT OFF.

The calendar was decided democratically by a small group of bloggers that Miss Meanie and I personally adore, and now the themes are set and you're all invited to play! If you're a blogger and want to be in on the Facebook chat, send a request to this group and check out what's going down in uber-babe-land.

Without too much further ado, this month's theme is "Alternative Fairytale", and I had heaps of fun looking up obscure fairytales and brainstorming! As you may know (or at least have guessed), I love stuff with a touch of the macabre :P So I splooshed a little bit when I came across a story published in 1845 by Hans Christian Andersen, called "The Red Shoes".

Here is an abridged version, retold through the ancient arts of vanity and fatshion...

Karen is a very poor girl who goes barefoot.

One day, an old lady adopts her and buys her a beautiful pair of red shoes.

Kazza is stoked.

When Karen is old enough to be confirmed, she chooses to wear her beautiful red shoes to church.
During the church service, Karen can think only of her red shoes.

After the service the old lady scolds Karen, telling her now that she is a grown-up christian she must never wear red shoes to church again. The next Sunday, Karen chooses to wear her red shoes to communion and again can focus only on how pretty she looks for the entire service.

As they are leaving the church, her shoes start to dance on their own and when Karen climbs into the carriage, she kicks the old woman violently before the coachman removes the shoes from Karen’s feet. The old lady falls ill and it is Karen’s job to care for her, but Karen is invited to a ball and decides to wear her red shoes to the dance rather than care for the sick old woman.

When Karen begins to dance, the shoes take on a life of their own. They dance Karen away into the dark woods. Terrified, she tries to tear the shoes off but they have become one with her feet
—she continues to dance through field and meadow, rain and shine for many days.

While dancing through a graveyard she sees an angel who tells her she shall dance until she is cold and dead, and will continue to dance even when she is nothing but bones. Karen dances unceasingly over hill and heath, and over thorns and branches until her skin is torn and bleeding.

She eventually comes to the house of an executioner and begs him to chop off her feet, so that she can finally rest. The executioner does as Karen wishes and the shoes dance away with her little feet
still in them.

(The rest of the story is a bit lame, so I just did what I wanted)...

She kisses the hand that wielded the axe and he fashions her little wooden feet and a pair of crutches. Karen now wishes to go to church to repent, but the red shoes, with her feet
still in them, dance in front of the church doors so that Karen cannot enter.
Karen weeps bitter tears in her narrow bare room and eventually the angel
 returns to her: He transforms her room into a church and as the organ plays,
Karen becomes so full of peace and joy that her heart breaks and she dies.

How fun is that?! I think the reason I fell in love with this story (aside from being able to justify buying a fabulous pair of EPIC red shoes) is that it reminds me of some sort of ye olde combination of Idle Hands and the Dancing Demon from the musical episode of Buffy. Am I right?!


As most often on my blog, photos are taken by my lovely love Sam and edited by yours truly!

I'm so excited to check out all the other babes interpretations of Alt Fairytale. Check back as the list below fills up with incredibleness!! xx

OUTFIT DETAILS

Literally everything is thrifted except the white skirt, which belongs to Jacqui. 
The stripey bustle is a separate piece that my mum gifted me.

LET'S STAY IN TOUCH!
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