I'm A Blogger Too... #NoShade (feat. Rue 107)

So first of all let me say a huge, heartfelt THANK YOU and FUCK YEAH to everyone who shared my “H&M Sucks” post, and who has been using the hashtag #whatfatgirlsACTUALLYwear. What I REALLY want to do, ultimately, is to collect a sort of “visual petition board” of plus size women who a) have radical style, and b) believe that the pathetic offerings from these huge companies is just NOT good enough, and alongside some of the comments i've been getting: actually approach a few of the companies and say “HERE YOU GO – here are our voices, loud and clear. WOULD YOU LIKE THESE WOMEN'S CASH OR NOT?” I'm sure they've been told before, i'd just like to do a big roundup and see if we can't get a bit of a collective momentum happening...

Now look, I really want the chance to explain to y'all that I strongly and firmly believe in first and foremost supporting small and indie designers. I have lots of pieces made by the likes of Candy Strike, Chubby Cartwheels, Pho Sizzle Threads, Domino Dollhouse, Rue 107, Bombshell Vintage etc etc. I also thrift A LOT because, well, I love finding unique pieces that nobody else is going to have, on top of the more important issue of trying to reduce landfill and shitting (even more) on our glorious planet. But also – unique pieces :D

But I am also a realist, and I know that sometimes fast fashion just cannot be avoided. For some people, it is purely a matter of finances/economic struggles. My recent issue (for those who haven't been following along at home) is that I temporarily moved to America with practically no clothes because I thought it was a shopping mecca (it isn't), and I'm not in a position to spend a huge chunk of cash on summer clothes to see me through a span of about 6 -8 weeks in which it's still really hot. I will be getting (and have already begun to organise) certain pieces from certain designers that I will be able to wear when it gets cooler, but a bitch can't be naked or feeling completely deprived of creative style until then?! Explanatory note: personally, fashion is a strong form of creativity and I feel wretched when I can't express myself in this medium.

On top of all of that, this is also an issue of having the right to shop in brick and mortar stores along with the straight sizes. In the comments section on the Facebook post I had a few people telling me to “just shop somewhere else” and then listing online stores. Like, guys, I KNOW how to use Google, okay? THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I even had one woman go so far as to tell me “fighting this to want them to make skinny girl clothes in our sizes is like trying to push back on a meteor. Not gonna happen”. Well, not with that bloody attitude, that's for sure!

So yeah, i'm pushing against a friggin' meteor, but i'm pushing alongside a bunch of other incredible women (and men – although I don't have direct contact with them) who are fighting the good fight, in an attempt to create some semblance of a more diverse and inclusive retail landscape. We may never win. That prospect makes me sad, but it only makes me want to fight harder and longer.

Who's with us?!

Sometimes you just have to gif out

A few questions and comments about the photo on the right lead me to realise that I actually photographed this outfit, but totally forgot to blog it!! The photos were taken by my good friend Jacqui's good friend Kristie – on an afternoon a good number of months ago.

The crop top (it very cheekily says “I'm a Blogger Too #noshade) is from Rue 107 (no longer available, sadly) and used to be a crop sweater. Well, the weather was too hot so I chopped them sleeves off! HAR HAR.

The skirt, I made myself, and there's a cute story to it: I bought this exact tablecloth/ant print fabric from a dingey old shop in Brisbane when I was about 14, and I made a pretty crap skirt out of it (I mentioned I was 14, right?). A couple of years later, the skirt has seen better days and gets thrown out. Last year, my Nana very sadly passed away and she left me her fabric, and in the pile was metres of the exact same fabric!! I just knew I had to make another, better, skirt (now that I know how to box pleat!) and to always remember my Nan when I wear it.

Speaking of which, this red coat came out of my nan's cupboard and I don't remember the brand but it's a rather generic old lady brand like Miller's or something, and I just added green fur to the colour.

The sunglasses can be found everywhere on the internet, just search “Mr Quiffy Sunglasses”, and the adorable strawberry headband was made by my friend Jacqui, mentioned above. You can also get yourself some similar cherry earrings right here!

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Revolution of Revulsion - H&M : you suck!

Call me a tad naïve, but before I came to America I had the impression that it was approximately 1000 times easier for fat girls to get their hands on dope plus size threads than it is in Australia. Given how many “celebrity” indie designers this country holds (ok, ok – “celebrity” within the community), given how many more people in general there are, and given how much more buying power the plus size amongst them must have... I believed it was going to be a utopia of finally being able to shop in department stores, and excitedly stumbling across cute and trendy boutiques with a vast range of sizes. Like, all the time.

This past week in America has got me reeling, because I am having a really hard time finding any establishments to take my dang money! And trust me – money for fashion, I currently have. It's one of those times where you've saved really hard for something (this trip), and you can justify making a bunch of big ticket purchases because, well, you literally NEED that stuff (dope clothes). When I moved here I brought 3 summer dresses and a pair of jelly sandals – a month later, this bitch is getting some serious wardrobe fatigue.

So last week, after spending days exploring Boston (hey blisters), I managed to find the one H&M store that (still?) has a plus size section.

I was already feeling a little raw because i'd recently asked in two other H&M's – to the sound of crickets. I'd struck out at a Forever 21 - “sorry, not here”. And i'd been so tremendously body-shamed asking about plus size underwear at a Lord & Taylor that for the first time in close to 5 years I thought I was going to cry in the middle of a shop.

When I got inside the H&M in Newbry, Boston and saw that “PLUS” category listed on the wall at the entrance (always so tactfully right beside “MATERNITY”) I metaphorically fell to my knees and kissed the ground.

That is until I made it upstairs and found the 2 metre by 2 metre display.

You guys... what, the actual, heck?

My eyes began to bleed as I surveyed the offerings: oversized t-shirts, floaty tops (2004 wants it's trend back, y'all) and the “flattering” khaki array. I could feel the bile rising in the back of my throat, and the situation was made even worse by my quick glances over at the rest of the floor, and peeks of the ENTIRE WALL displays from downstairs: Thin Girl Land... *whispers*
feathers, faux furs, pleather, pleats, short shorts, tapered legs, strapless, racer backs, crop tops.

All the things that I am not “allowed”.
WE are not allowed.

Talk about rubbing salt in my open fashion wound.

To sound only half as dramatic as it felt: I was angry, and baffled, and terribly alone. I gaped around to see another girl of size rummaging through the racks with a few things tentatively in her hand. The outfit she had on was drab and uninspired, but I wasn't judging her on that because more importantly; I could see she was not excited by fashion. Not even a bit. And how could she be?

And then another chubster girl entered the area and started shuffling through the rack beside me, and I heard her grumbling to herself. I looked over and we made eye contact, and she finally mirrored what my brain had been screaming for the past few minutes; “this stuff is DISGUSTING!”

“HOLY SHIT I KNOW!!” I ecstatically exclaimed, so damn relieved that somebody else felt the same way.

“What, so because i'm bigger I have to wear SWEATS?” her adorable accent asked me, as she held out an actual pair of sweatpants.

I literally hugged her.  

----
So here's the thing – why does H&M (and other stores running a similar racket) even HAVE a plus size section, if they don't actually value their plus size consumer?

Are we supposed to feel grateful? Or relieved that we have been granted the honor of getting to say we own at least one item from H&M (/insert other ignorant conglomeration)?

Although it makes me mad as hell, I actually find a SHRED (just a shred) more respect in companies who don't even have larger offerings. In my opinion, it's one thing for a company to say “nah we don't want fatties in our clothes because we feel it diminishes our 'cool' image”, and quite another for a company to say “oh your FAT MONEY is good enough for us to take, but only on the proviso that you continue to feel shit about yourself, and sit over in the naughty corner and watch all the other pretty things on display and know that YOU CAN NEVER HAVE THOSE THINGS because you don't deserve them. Oh, but MONEY PLEASE” - as they hold out their greedy and narrow-minded hands.

Here's what else I don't get: why is it SO HARD to make the clothes they ALREADY MAKE but in a LARGER SIZE?! Yes it requires a bit more fabric, but I bet you anything that the .5c less profit on each plus size item sold (when compared to the profits of a straight size item sold) are totally negligible, and would be well overshadowed by the fact that they have an almost untapped market of larger ladies who are in desperate need and want for some decent choices in the fast fashion arena.

THEY CAN DO BETTER. And the fact that they aren't makes me scratch my head and reach for the nearest conspiracy theory about multi-billion dollar fashion companies also being the diet industry, who are profiting off us from every angle of the game. But that's just crazy, right? Right?

So here's what i'm proposing:

If you feel that this is NOT GOOD ENOUGH, please share this post (or anything in it) and make some noise about your own experiences in these places. I'm not sure they're aware that this is how a lot of plus size women feel, but if they don't – THEY WILL. 

Post your fiercest fat girl fashions on any social media platform and let's show them #whatfatgirlsACTUALLYwear.

Note: all of this ranting also applies to the men's section - maybe even two-fold. I just don't write about that because I don't have personal direct experiences with it, but please know that for every time I go into battle for women's fashion, I am hoping that it will help pave the way for a more accepting situation in all facets of the industry.

Another note: I am tremendously aware that fast fashion is bad, and I am pleased to say that 95% of my regular wardrobe is either recycled, upcycled or comes from indie designers. This battle is more about social justice and the right to options for people of different sizes and economic backgrounds.  

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CREATIVE FEATURE: Miss Lacey Noel

Instagram is an incredible place (oh hush, it's a place) – it's definitely my favourite of all the social media platforms. Being such a strong visual creature, it's not uncommon for me to wake up and have a look at my IG feed first thing because the people I tend to follow are incredibly inspiring and talented individuals who get my creative juices flowing. Combine a good sleep with a little shot of IG in the morning, and I am roaring to face the day and get amongst it all!

Last year, I stumbled across Miss Lacey Noel - an incredible young woman with oodles of talent and creativity (especially for her tender age), and she very quickly became one of my favourite Instagrammers and cosplayers. Plus, her obsession with Drag Queens is something I can TOTALLY get down on; her “Project Faux Drag” is one of the most exciting things i've discovered in recent times! She also has a wonderfully talented photographer for a mum, and together they make an unstoppable artistic duo who may make you a teeny bit envious, but more probably you'll just fall in love with their gloriously colourful work and heartwarming relationship!

I had so many questions I personally wanted to ask Lacey, I thought other people surely would be interested in knowing more about her as well...

Lacey and Mathu - the creative producer on RuPaul's Drag Race and Mama Ru's hair and makeup artist. He's actually a God - follow him on Instagram for eyeball orgasms.

Tell us a little about yourself. I know you're only 17 (!!) and you live in Hollywood, and your life seems full of such wonderful experiences and opportunities. Where were you born?
Hello, there! I’m Lacey Noel and I was born in New Jersey on the Christmas Eve of 1996. I am a cosplay artist, illustrator, and bone marrow transplant survivor. I now reside in Los Angeles, California where I’ve been able to grow as an artist.

Can you give us list all of the things that you do. You obviously model and do makeup... what else?
I’ve done hair and makeup on some of my mom’s clients and I know a bit about photography from my mom. I love to write. I’ve done stand-up comedy at the Laugh Factory. I’ve acted in some short films and a play, and I’d love to do some more acting. I’ve learned to play violin and guitar. I really love drawing. I love drawing portraits of people that I admire, and I’m determined to improve on my artwork. I'm taking a class in graphic design. Also, I’m learning how to sew and soon we'll be learning about costume design in school!

Left: Lacey's sketch of Bianca Del Rio || Right: Bianca herself, serving clown realness!

You must have incredibly supportive parents who encourage you in your passions. Your mum is a photographer, and she takes a lot of the photos that we see of you. Is that right?
Yes, my mom is extremely supportive! She's been photographing me since I was very little, and she's even taught me mostly what I know about hair, makeup and life. She's such an extraordinary woman. So strong, talented and inspirational! She's my best friend. We do everything together!

Do you both come up with the concepts?
We work as a team. For the cosplay projects, my mom looks for the outfits and wigs, and I learn the makeup and study how these queens pose. For the photoshoot where I'm myself, I do my hair and makeup and we just kind of come up with something together based on the outfits that I have.

Do you do your own hair, makeup and styling for the shoots?
Makeup, yes. Hair, when it's only my blue hair, I usually style it, and my mom dyes it. But when it's a wig, usually my mom styles it or I get to borrow a wig from one of the queens!

Left: Adore Delano || Right: Lacey Noel

What appeals to you about drag queens, and when did you first discover what incredible artists they are?
I guess my first drag queen discovery was getting To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar (Kobi: MINE TOO!) in my stocking on Christmas morning. Since then, I've become so fascinated about them! I love the art of turning yourself into the opposite gender, and how convincing you can look! Also, I love how creative and inspiring they are. When I started going to drag shows and watching RuPaul's Drag Race, I have not only become more confident with who I am, but I don't look in a mirror without makeup on and call myself ugly anymore! And that's truly a breakthrough because I used to get horrendously picked on in school, and I used to hate myself. It feels so wonderful to not feel like that anymore!

One of the things that I love most about drag queens is the courage and ability to have complete control over who you want to be and whatever you want to do, even if that thing seems so outrageous and out of the box. Although it is literally covering up/manipulating your body, it's all with the purpose of exposing the person you really feel like you are. Do you relate to that?
Well, it's art. It's all art, and with art, you get the freedom to express yourself through whichever medium to decide to pick. I can relate to that because through dressing up, I can really express myself.

Top: Lacey Noel || Bottom: Sharon Needles (one of my ultimate favs!)

So many of your photos on instagram are actually you with some of the most beloved queens of Ru Paul's Drag Race. How does this happen?!
I just keep up with what's going on in the drag scene, and I go to a lot of drag shows!

Of the ladies from the show, who have been some of the nicest/funniest/warmest?
I love so many of these queens, and so many of them have been so sweet and kind to me. But there's one queen who has really been supportive of me and my mom as well as Project Faux Drag, and that is Courtney Act. She is just so nice, and she has done so much for me. And also, she's my drag mother!

Left: Courtney Act live on RPDR (who you may remember from Australian Idol S1) || Right: Lacey Noel

You also cosplay regularly as queens from the show. Do they often get to see your photos? What are their reactions?
They do! And they seem to like them, too! I've even been posted on some of their Instagrams, Twitters and Facebooks as well!

I also saw that Tammy Brown recently dressed you up as herself!! I am GREEN WITH ENVY!! How did that come about?
'That's Tammie with an I E!' ;D (Kobi: D'OH, that's embarassing!) Well, Tammie really loved the drawing I did of her, and in a conversation we had, she said that she would love for me to draw a photo that not everyone has seen before. With my mom being a photographer, we set up a date for her to come over for a photoshoot. Then the idea of doing a cosplay project with her came up! It was super fun, and it was absolutely amazing working with her!

Lacey and Tammie with an I E!

It seems you've met some really incredible people in your life, like Gwen Stefani when she pulled you up on stage at a No Doubt concert. Obviously they are all amazing experiences, but which have been the biggest standouts for you?
I have so many incredible moments in my life, and I keep experiencing more! Moving to LA was a huge change in my life, and here I've gotten the honor of doing such amazing things. I'm so thankful that I am able to say that!

The outfits you wear on shoots are always so extravagantly amazing. You seem to be a big fan of a very colourful, hyper-mod style. How do you dress in everyday life? What kinds of things do you wear when you go to school?
I go to school like that all the time! But sometimes when I get tired, I'll wear a cute dress and do a nice little hairdo.

Lacey's style - so on point

What/who are your biggest style inspirations?
Gwen Stefani, of course, but there's also Edie Sedgwick, Twiggy, Patti Boyd, David Bowie, Goldie Hawn, Audrey Hepburn, Tracy Turnblad... The movie Hairspray changed my life and the way that I dress! Of course some of the queens really inspire my style as well! Bianca Del Rio is so fascinating and so neat looking! The way she dolls herself up is so unique and inspiring. I love how she wears things that are inspired by the '60's, and what I really love about that is that she KNOWS a lot about '60's fashion. She's such a style icon!

Speaking of school, how do the people you go to school with respond to what you do and how successful you've so been so far? Do they know?
Hm... Well, in my other schools, I used to get picked on really badly, but now that I'm in high school, I do have more of the freedom to express myself through the way I dress and what I do. I'll get stared at by people who don't understand, but oh well. With my success, I wouldn't call it success just yet. I'm getting more recognition at the moment, and a lot of people wonder who I am. Maybe I'll find my calling through all of this, maybe I won't. But either way, I am an artist and I need to create. And I am currently, deeply inspired by the world of drag. I feel at home in the drag community.

Lacey as Laganja Estranja

What are your plans for the future, once you finish school? Are you going to college?
Actually, I don't think I want to go to college. There's so much talk about how everyone HAS to go back to school after graduating, but I don't see the point in doing so. If I want to go to college, I would probably wait and relax for a year and then go. But then again, I'm not interested in paying back debt for the rest of my life. I'm an artist and I don't feel that going to an art school would help me very much. I need to continue with my work and keep creating, and I feel that school would only distract me from what I love doing.

If you could do absolutely anything with your life (which i'm sure you can, and will), what would it be?
Be happy, create art, have lots of fun, and live life to the absolute fullest! I would love to make a living off of what I do, as well.

---------

Amen! I couldn't have said it better!! What a gem of a gal, Lacey Noel. If you enjoyed this interview, please share it around. She's such a lovely and talented lass who deserves all kinds of amazing things (including being a guest on RuPaul's Drag Race, IMO). 

I had so much trouble choosing which photos to nab, because she has SO MANY AMAZING ONES! But you should take a look at Lacey's Tumblr, and you can also find her on Instagram, Facebook, Youtube and all the other ones (full lists available on other pages).

- Kobi xx

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My Thoughts on Being a Fat Woman in a Bikini

Last summer was the first time I ever wore a bikini outside of my house, and holy shit it was scary. I'm not gonna lie – it was truly terrifying.

That was also the same week I took these photos with a friend (Tree Faerie), who I totally trusted to let me be myself, and not “improve” me via the magics of photoshop. Don't get me wrong, she did some enhancing of colours etc (these are art shots, darling!), but I know that she wouldn't touch a single roll, pucker, or stretch mark. I adore her for that, and I found the experience incredibly liberating. Fat people's bodies are politicised, and I think it's tremendously important to regain control over that. Make 'em look. Fuck 'em.

THIS FATKINI

This is the Gabi Fresh 'Galaxy' which was very briefly available (they sold out so quickly the system couldn't even keep up) through Swimsuits For All. I very much love the print, the mesh cutouts in the bottoms, and the adjustable staps that span across the front of my chest, but there are a couple of design flaws: the bust is still seriously undersupported (I don't know what the solution is for this, because I know not everybody likes underwire in their 'kini, but I certainly would in this one), and the clasp at the back is one of those sliding ones that flings open with no notice. Awkward!

When I first got this 'kini in the mail I had two polar opposite thoughts – “thank GOD it's extremely high-waisted”, and “Oh BUMMER! It's so high-waisted I may as well be wearing a one piece!” The body pos movement has been bringing about some incredible and long overdue changes within our culture, and with this newfound “trend” of body confidence (I use the word “trend” hesitantly because I hope/don't think it's a flash in the pan fade like scrunchies, or snap bracelets) it's becoming increasingly easier for us bodacious babes to acquire bikinis in our sizes. But, without question, the majority of them are extremely high-waisted, which begs the question – are we truly “confident” if we still have to cover up so much?

Now WAIT!

Before you jump down my throat, please know that this is not an attack on anybody who chooses to wear a high-waisted bikini. As you know I mentioned above, I was relieved and part-delighted to discover I would not have to be baring quite as much of my jiggly, cellulite-y (new word), and stretch marked belly as I thought I would be. But now that i've crossed these waters of confidence, I would like the opportunity to (read: be somewhat forced to) bare a little more. I believe that being confident in your skin is small steps at a time, and although i'm happy with where I am now (in an exceptionally high-waisted two piece), I want to keep walking down this path of complete adoration and love for my body. There are still a lot times where I have to force myself to “fake it till I make it”, and a fatkini that bares a little more of my fat may just be my next hurdle. 

A while ago, Marie Southard Ospina of Migg Magg & Bustle (and whom I ADORE) wrote this awesome article that made a tremendous point about the high-waisted plus size bikini culture, and it floored me because I had been thinking all the same things. Yet, with this article, I felt some ripples amongst the plus-size community, with whispers of the term “small fat”.

Taken this Christmas just past - i'm still rocking this badboy!

“Small Fats”

If you haven't heard of the term “small fat” before, it's found flying around a lot on Tumblr and is used to segregate smaller plus size women, and minimise their feelings about and experiences of being marginalised as a fat person. This makes me SO incredibly angry as I don't in any way agree with degrading somebody else's experiences with their own body. But that's a rant for another time.

I do think that if somebody with a larger and/or (key point, here) less proportioned body were to take a stroll along the beach (and NOT in Spain – let's say, Bondi Beach), the results of the experiment may be markedly different. But my point is that I completely salute Marie for such an excellently thought-provoking article, and even though some people may not agree that their experiences of oppression and social prejudice are the same as hers, the sentiment still stands: are we truly confident if we continue to cover up?

Here's my potential hit-list for the lowest riding bikinis available to fat girls, and BOY was it difficult just to find these. I'm not OBSESSED with any of them, but they are definitely cute! PS . According to my research, 'low-rise' is categorically anything below the belly button. A couple of these are techincally 'mid-rise', but too cute to not make the list. 

Left to Right; Pink Shandy by Swim Sexy || Candy Sweet by Asos Curve || Python Twist Front by Swim Sexy

Left to Right; Scuba Sweetheart by Swim Sexy || Junglebook by Swim Sexy || Sea Reef by Gabi Fresh

Alternatively, you can just DESIGN YOUR OWN! And if you discover any gems yourself, please comment and let me know!

Edit: after much discussion surrounding this article and subsequent subjects on social media, I just want to add an extra paragraph that may elaborate my thoughts a little more... 

I didn't mean to imply that ALL women who wear high-waisted bikinis are trying hide themselves, or that they're a "cheat" bikini. I'm sure that there are other reasons for this preference, such as the retro aesthetic (however I do think it's interesting to consider that the high-waisted fashion was intrinsically a way for women to start to bare more, while still being somewhat conservative... not to mention having the additional benefits of “body sculpting” for maximum levels of attractiveness – both issues that feed the male gaze). I myself genuinely feel more comfortable in high waisted bottoms (all my undies are HW) because my belly is much fatter than my hips/butt and anything that sits under my fat roll feels like it's going to slide right off. However I do think that it's a fair assumption (albeit, just an assumption) that a percentage of women do prefer the HW bikini because it is still a somewhat “safe/r zone”. Just type the words "plus size bikini" into pinterest/google etc and you'll basically only see two-pieces when there's just an inch of skin visible. I don't believe that's coincidence, and that is also reflected in the retail market, being what's available. And my thoughts are that it may be a logical step in the process of a more complete approach to body acceptance that we have the option of baring more of the belly - and are informed on the topic of BA enough to recognise that this may be a viable step that people might want to explore. I definitely wish (for myself) that it were more of a retail option.

I guess that also serves as a TL; DR. Please, let's continue the discussion! :) 

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Mean, Green Nursing Machine (Aussie Curves)

Hello! My goodness, it's been a few weeks since I participated in an Aussie Curves challenge. Things have been full on! Most exciting of which, I have been asked to be a judge at Monster Fest (which, if you don't know, is Melbourne's only HORROR FILM FESTIVAL)! So for the last week and a half I've been watching all the horror, blood and gore that my strange little heart desires, and totally ignoring my friends - blog included. I think i'm about 17 films down, with another 5 - 8 to go. YEE HAW!

If you live in Melbourne and love horror, make sure you check out the program and get along to see some stuff. I'm definitely going to be heading to the all night Friday 13th movie marathon next Friday, and I can't wait! And can we just take a second to appreciate how glorious this poster is?

Today was also the open casting for runway street models for next year's Curvy Couture Roadshow. It was so damn awesome to be surrounded by so many beautiful, stylish and FUN ladies!!
As for the challenge, I had to jump back on board this week for the theme "favourite colour", because I love any excuse to wear green! It's hard to pick a favourite between green and purple, but I was definitely feeling the former that day. Sam and I were headed into the city to eat dumplings and watch a double feature of the new Hunger Games and Interstellar (yep, MORE MOVIES!), and we stumbled across this adorable little alley chock full of plants and fun doorways. Yep, that graffiti says "sex is fun"... \m/

Helloooooo boob gape!

I found this dress vintage 80's dress at Savers about two years ago, and for the last one year it's sat at the bottom of my mending pile. I recently found it and repaired it, and now i'm loving it all over again just like it's new. I like to pretend i'm a war-time nurse. Wow, that just got weird.

Two things I noticed after seeing these photos: 

1. I really should invest in an iron.

2. I love these avocado earrings so hard. One of them has the seed and the other doesn't, 

and the two halves fit together PERFECTLY. So, damn, satisfying. 

That's all for now. I know i'm last to the blog hop party this week (as with a lot of weeks), but definitely check out the other ladies outfits and spread the love! Blogging is not a one-sided activity, it's about sharing and community! <3

OUTFIT DETAILS

Dress: Savers

Jacket: City Chic

Boots: Docs (handpainted by moi)

Earrings: purchased from Quick Brown Fox

Brooch: was a set of earrings, also from Quick Brown Fox

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Turn Around, Bright Eyes (Aussie Curves)

The Aussie Curves theme this week is "Then and Now", but I keep thinking of it as now and then, which causes to me to get Bonnie Tyler's 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' stuck in my head (because of the repeated lyrics "every now and then I get a little bit.... *insert various thing*).

So. Yes. Ahem. Excuse me.

It's funny, but I do often reflect on how my style has changed in the last couple of years, probably most since i've moved to Melbourne. I believe that's because I suddenly had access to more shops (new and thrift) and also because I felt I could finally, fully unleash my creativity and personal style in this glorious and thriving city.

But what I don't often reflect on is what came before that. Like, early teen and high school.

So I jumped into a long lost box of photos that haven't seen the light of day for, ohhh, probably about 6 years.

Firstly, I was not nearly drunk enough to deal with some of the stuff that was in there.

Secondly, it was SO DAMN DIFFICULT to find any full length photos of me in that era. There were thousands of photos, but so few of me. The most prevalent were group shots, and oh what do you know... I always just so happened to be riiiiiiiight at the back!

15 year old Kobi's uniform - baggy 3/4 denim shorts, stripy knee-high socks, a baggy dark t-shirt and my prized possession; a pair of Oakley sunglasses in pearl white. 

I worked SO HARD to save for those bad boys. 

So I had my hardcore tomboy years in which pants, 3/4 short and t-shirts were all I would ever be caught dead in. Seriously, I wore shorts and t-shirts to go swimming. That outfit on the right (above) with the tight(er) jeans and the blue check shirt... I remember my mum buying me those because she wanted me out of baggy clothes, and that was my only compromise. I still remember how uncomfortable it felt to be so "restricted", but I also remember getting some serious compliments from my friends. That'd never happened before!

And then I started to "develop my style" (hahahaha) by making my own circle skirts (which I would often tuck up into my undies to achieve some weird draping effect I really liked - see top left grey skirt below) and op shopping for black shirts. Seriously, I want to give me a hug right now.

The bottom is my year 12 formal dress that I designed based loosely on a dress Christina Ricci wore in the movie Sleepy Hollow. It was a stunning and unique Victorian bustle dress, and possibly the first time in my life that I ever felt beautiful.

I won't bore you with the story of "and then I transformed, like a caterpillar shedding it's cocoon", because I feel like I crap on about those reflections quite a fair bit.

But what I will say is that THANK GOODNESS I made it through those terrible years of self-hatred. I now see "fashion" (I use inverted commas because fashion to me is just personal style, not actual fashion fashion) as purely a means of expression, and something enjoyable that I choose to do when I want to. Which, granted, is quite a lot.

Some days I feel like getting dressed up and doing my makeup when i'm not even leaving the house. But some days I just go out in a scrubby house dress and not a skerrick of makeup. Point is, the things I put on my body no longer reflect how I feel about myself as a person, and they certainly don't contribute to or impact my feelings of self-worth.

Now, clothes are just for fun.

OUTFIT DETAILS

Dress: thrifted (note, I had to stitch the front closed... #boobieproblems) Boots: Dr Martens, hand-painted by moi Lipstick: Lime Crime Velvetine | Suedeberry

LET'S STAY IN TOUCH!
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My Not-So-Secret Secret to Rocking a Crop Top (Aussie Curves)

The Aussie Curves theme this week is 'tee', and I instantly knew I wanted to wear this amazingly awesome Thick Chick crop by Candy Strike. She's one of my absolute favourite indie designers, and I can't wait to treat myself to one of her incredible swimsuits for summer!

Now, the crop top is a subject I feel passionately about. I don't consider myself any kind of croppy-goodness guru because it is still something that pushes me violently out of my comfort zone. BUT - I worked out the secret. And to be honest, I think it's a not-so-secret secret. Are you ready?..

Fake it till you make it.

Seriously, I know it sounds like the biggest pile of codswallop but I SWEAR by it. Obviously you have to get to the point of confidence where you can actually force yourself to leave the house in it, but when you do; hold your head high and put an extra wiggle in your walk, even if you're cringing inside.

If you're not quite there yet, you could start gently by wearing it around the house. Maybe let your partner or housemates see you in it? Then eventually take the dog for a walk, or wear it out for brunch. Just start doing it, and PRETEND LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE A FIG what other people are thinking, and in some amount of time (might be next month, might be next year) you actually won't. I promise.

Now like I said, i'm not being all preachy and know-it-all, i'm just sharing this tip that I discovered. When I first started seeing crop tops on incredible babes like Tess Munster and Gabi Fresh, I always managed to convince myself that it works for them but it wouldn't work for me because they (insert excuse like; "have a better proportioned body", or "don't have as visible stretch marks as me") etc etc. But the other thing that got me through that initial stage was just sheer rebelliousness and rage at the world.

The first time I wore a crop top in public, I was terrified, but more importantly I clung onto the feeling that I was giving the world a big, giant FUCK YOU and flipping it the metaphorical bird. And essentially, that's what I was doing, and that is what all fat girl's do every single time we "break a fashion rule". And I have come to LOVE that feeling so much. And I really think you will too. Give it a go? What's the WORST THING that could happen?..

Thanks to Sam for my photies <3

In summary of my argument - 

OUTFIT DETAILS

Top: Candy Strike

Skirt: K-Mart

Earrings: I bought them at Quick Brown Fox but have also seen them at Kinki Gerlinki

Boots: Docs, painted by me

Head scarf: this eBay seller

LET'S STAY IN TOUCH!
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